Never thought I would be scared

I’m not sure how to begin to describe what the past 24 hours has been like for me. My mom wanted to go back to Metulla yesterday and trying to talk her out of it didn’t work. It’s only been 4 days since we left Metulla yet she already felt the urge to go back. Our pets are a huge concern and also it’s so hard to leave the town you live in and grew up in. I wasn’t going to let my mom go alone so we drove together.
We decided to stop at a kibutz half an hour south of Metulla and wait there until it gets dark before we make the final part of the trip. The statistic shows that there is hardly any shelling at night.
There is such a huge difference between northern Israel and the center of Israel. It almost feels like two different countries. From nonstop explosions into beaches, shopping and caf?s.
The snap into the reality of the war took no time, as soon as we got to the north you could feel the stress again. I have never seen so much army in my whole life, all over. This is war and there is no doubt about it.
The cannons were firing in Metulla and the sound was unbearable. I took a shower while hoping there won’t be an alarm in the middle. Towards 2am I finally went to bed. I fell asleep. And then I woke up. At 3am. At 4am. At 5:30am. At 7am. How can you really sleep with explosions all around you? I was lying in bed praying that it would stop already. Around 7:30am a siren went off, along with the beeper saying that we should go into bomb shelters. Not long after the first Katyushas fell. They fell close enough to hear and far enough to still be safe. The next round wasn’t so far.
I heard a terrifying whistle and then a huge explosion, stronger than anything I’ve heard before. I’m not sure why but I decided to step outside and ask my neighbor whether it was ‘ours’ or ‘theirs’… he wasn’t sure. The two others explosions along with the loud siren and smoke that followed left no room for wondering. It wasn’t ours and it definitely fell near by. One of the Katyushas fell 200 feet from my house. Another one hit a house of one family in Metulla. A few other ones fell in the near by orchards.
I was running between my house, the street and the “safer room” of the house. In case you didn’t know, every house in Israel must be built with a “safe room” that is supposed to protect the family somewhat better from a missile attack, only in Israel.
I was grateful for my good fortune, if that Katyusha hit 200 feet from that spot, it would have been my house being hit. What a horrible feeling this is.
I spent the rest of the day in Metulla’s ‘operation room’ or ‘war headquarters’. I was doing a simple secretarial work of picking phones and giving the worried residents instructions on what to do and helping to organize a list of kids that are leaving for camp away from Metulla.

There were nonstop reports about the house that collapsed in the village of Kana, with reports on 57 dead (Red cross numbers are lower) amongst them 20 children. It is truly awful when innocent civilians die, but it is unfortunately inevitable when Hezbollah exploits its own country’s civilians and uses their houses for hiding weapons and missiles. It is up to Lebanon and its civilians to say no to such horrible use of civilians by putting them in the front line. The Israeli army asked the residents of southern Lebanon to leave 2 weeks ago because they had no choice but to bomb villages who are used to hide weapon.
The first thing that Israel did after hearing of the civilians that died was to remorse. I never once heard Hezbollah or Lebanon expressing any kind of regret for Israeli civilians that lost their lives.
The hypocrisy of the world makes me so mad. Especially Kofi Anan who once again ignores Israeli casualties, injured and the 2 million Israelis who are living in bomb shelters or as refugees.
I must admit I was absolutely scared today. Hoping for a night where I can sleep more than an hour straight… Layla tov.

* The beatiful view of the north, as always...

A refugee in my own country

Today I realized I am some kind of a refugee in my own country. Going back home at this point is like participating in a Russian roulette... Perhaps I can utilize the knowledge I gained in that awful econometrics class last semester and calculate the chances of surviving such a trip when all around me there are different types of missiles exploding. It's true that while I was growing up there were two major operations in Lebanon which forced us to leave our houses for two weeks or more, but it seems like such a long memory. It also didn’t involve the entire northern area of Israel, but merely 'only' the town who were considered 'confrontation line' towns (mainly Metulla, Kiryat Shmona, Naharya, etc)
When I left my house this week I was crying. The heavy cannons just began firing again and I couldn't describe how loud and scary these things are even if I tried. We had to leave my dog in our fenced back yard and the cat outside of the house. I have never ever seen my dog like this, she was terrified, scratching the door into the house as if her life depended on it. We couldn't take her with us… as much as we wanted to. She is a big dog and she won't ride cars. You also can't expect the people who are hosting to also host a dog. Every 'dog hotel' in the area was already fully booked as well. We knew my great uncle was going to come over and feed them, but it's still not comforting enough. I juts couldn't stand the thought of leaving them behind.
My mom is going back to Metulla tomorrow. She wants me to stay in the Tel Aviv area and I don't know what I should be doing at this point. It's only been four days since we left Metulla and my mom already wants to come home. It is one thing when you leave at your own will, but when you are forced to leave home due to a war, all you want to do is go back, even if it means risking your own life. Have I mentioned before that us Metulla people are crazy?
My mom has been walking around carrying her 3 cell phones (1 is from work) and the new beeper that every Metulla resident got this week. I hate when that things beeps, it's so loud. It's important though – it'll beep and say that the residents are aloud to step out of the shelter between 12-2pm in order to buy food and supplies, maybe grab something from home. Then 10 minutes later it will beep again saying that "all residents must go into bomb shelters right now".
I want to wish lots of luck to my classmate and childhood friend who's name begins with the letter Y (I can't write his name) – he is an F-16 pilot and I'm sure he's doing an amazing job.

* This is a picture of my beautiful dog and cat that was taken under better circumstances

May they rest in peace

This post won't be long... 9 soldiers were killed today by Hezbollah... Young men who never even got to begin their lives. My heart goes out to their families. Their lives will never be the same again. 22 other soldiers were injured as well - injured is just a word of course. Loosing an arm or a leg isn't. I can't imagine what it is like for them out there, with no sleep, knowing that it could be the ones to loose their lives next.
Nassrallah threatend to extand the range of missiles launched from now on. This means that going to the Tel Aviv aread might not be so helpful anymore, maybe we should have just stayed at home with the familiar sounds of cannons firing and helicopters and F-16's all around us.

Oh by the way, 3 weeks ago I had an (clearly) unexpected appendix surgery. I was still at home recovering from it when the fighting started. I was barely able to walk and already had to leave Metulla. My mom celebrated her 50th birthday on July 18th... needless to say I didn't get to celebrate with her. I was so happy that I was going to be in Israel for her birthday and this is what happend. Life is just so unexpected. I don't know how I will be able to go back to school while knowing that this is going on in Israel, that there are people who are spending their days in bomb shelters... It's amazing that we seem to forget how lucky we are in life. This is not the kind of reality check I was hoping for.

Layla tov.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3281856,00.html

Please watch this interview with a brave and wonderful Lebanese woman:
http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=kj7ydxbab.0.pkxfexbab.gwixszn6.32674&ts=S0194&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.somebodyhelpme.info%2Fvideos%2FBrigitte_Gabriel_Discusses_Pro-Israel_Policies_on_CNN_07-19-06.wmv

*In the picture - well needless to say, an everyday part of life in Northern Israel today. I took this picture while driving towards Metulla wondering where the next one is going to hit...

When you know the name

First I would like to take the time and apologize for the grammatical errors and spelling mistakes I have on this blog. I don't really have the time to proof read my posts and when I write the post it's from my heart, an emotional response to the situation backed up with facts of what is going on. So again, forgive me but there is not much time for correcting these mistakes.

I woke up today, after a terrible night of barely sleeping due to... well you know. explosions, cannons shelling, etc. My mom finally packed a small bag too and agreed to leave Metulla for a few days. We were hoping to leave as early as possible because the statistic shows that Hezbollah men are somewhat lazy - they don't begin shelling us before 11am. Of course, there was so much to get done before we were able to leave the house and naturally it wasn't before 2pm where we actually got into the car. By then the explosions were so loud we were debating whether or not it was a good idea to go.
But we did go. We were advised not to wear our seatbelts while driving, so that in case of a katyusha hitting us, we would be able to get out of the car faster. Car accidents? hmm... we pretty much had to decide where the bigger risk was; getting hit by a katyusha or a getting into a car accident. Two months ago all I could think of is how I'm getting through finals week and now I'm thinking about how I can manage to stay alive. We can make all the plans we want but at the end of the day you never know what might happen.
One of the soldiers who died last Thursday was Liran Sa'adia z"l. He was a classmate of my sister and the son of our elementary school's gym teacher. He was 21 years old. It hurts to hear about every soldiers and person that dies. Naturally though, it hurts so much more when it is someone you know. I was reading an interview with his parents in the newspaper today and I kept thinking to myself how awful this is, to loose a son, that never even got to begin his life. Liran was supposed to finish his army service in 3 months. He was from kiryat Shmona. He died while defending his house, literarly. Yehi Zichro Baruch.
My mom and I are now near Tel Aviv. It feels as if we're in a different country almost, where life goes on. As if there is no war in the North, as if there are no Kasam missiles landing in the south.
Strange.

*In the picture - Liran Sa'adia z"l

Going back to the fire zone

Today I went back to Metulla after not seeing my mom for a week and a half. My mom didn’t want to leave… It probably sounds weird to you but you have to understand that it is extremely hard to just leave your house. It is the one place we are supposed to feel safe and secure in, therefore leaving for an unknown period of time is difficult. Most of the residents of Metulla choose to stay at this time; it is probably a consequence of growing up being used to this danger.
I feel so bad for the residents of other northern towns that are now suffering missiles for the first time – Rosh Pina, Tzfat, Tveria, Haifa, Afula, Nazareth and dozens more. We already went through many years of Katyusha, they never did.
As we were approaching the north there was a growing sense of stress in the air. Traffic became lighter in cars and heavier with army presence. It started to feel like war. And then they were, clouds of smoke rising to sky, showing us exactly where not long ago Katyushas hit. It was unbelievable, it was all around us. For a moment we were trying to decide which road to take, as if we were gambling on our lives, where we would have a better chance of surviving and not getting hit by a missile.
In the background there were non-stop explosions and cannons firing. Sometimes it’s almost hard to tell the difference between what was shot by our army and what was shot by Hezbollah.
It’s the end of day 13th of the war, but there is not even a slight decrease in the number of missiles shot at Israel. The latest number I saw on the news was over 2,500 missiles were launched at Israel. I don’t even want to think about the incredible capital damage to property and the economy which is going to cost billions, it’s hard not to though as an economics major.
Two air force pilots died today in a crash of a helicopter. An officer and a soldier also died in the battles inside southern Lebanon. My heart breaks.
Don’t get me wrong, casualties on both sides are terrible, but this is what happens in a state of war. We did not ask for this war.
As I am writing these lines the explosions are still going on, shaking my house and our windows. Imagine the worst, loudest and scariest thunder. This is a million times worst, louder and scarier.
My dog is pretty much our of her mind by this point, my cat is getting there too. Animals sense these things so much more than humans and they are so scared. It’s hard to watch a dog that was always so happy and playful hiding under a table and not willing to go outside because she is too scared to pee.
I’m going to try to attempt sleep, but who knows how much success I will have with explosions waking me up every few minutes.

If you have any comments on this blog I would be happy to hear them.
Shalom and Layla Tov from Metulla, Israel.

My town is so famous by now...

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3280562,00.html

*The picture was taken today from the car while we were driving towards Metulla. A Katyusha hit that area just half an hour before.

Terrorism will forever be Terrorism

The following post is a correspondence I had with a Muslim girl in my American Pluralism class in school. It was a part of our grade to respond to classmates posts on the class's message board. This correspondence is from April 2006, and is still extremely relevant for a couple of months later. My responses to the girl are in the different colored font;


It's so sad to see things like that, I really wish they didn't happen.

It is not just sad, it is outrageous and you and I both wish terror will end.

The world today is a very, very disturbing place. It is so sad that people kill each other and take revenge and kill each other some more and the cycle is ongoing.

Suicide bombers murder innocent people not simply for revenge but for the sole purpose of killing. The purpose is to be ‘shahid’ (martyr), because that’s what their recruiters tell them they’ll be – they tell them that they will get to heaven and get the 72 virgins.

I think America is the only place safe from these types of terrors...

9/11, thousands of dead. Downtown Manhattan. And constant threats by Osama Bin-Laden. I wouldn’t call that safe.

it's hard to believe that most of the world lives in constant terror...

It is hard to believe that people feel it is ok to kill innocent people, but this is the reality. Not just in Israel, but in Madrid, London, NYC, Bali, Dahab (The Sinai desert in Egypt), and many other cities.

what is the solution? Spirituality, fairness, empathy and compromise are the only things that will bring peace... but how do we go about it? How do we make someone have a conscience?

The solution starts with education. No one is born a hater. Hate derives from education, from brain washing. When your family/school/mosque tells you that Jews are pigs and monkeys and that they are infidels (as is anyone who is not Muslim according to Islam) and blames everything that is wrong on someone else instead of their own leadership. That leadership stole billions and billions of funding that was meant to build schools, hospitals, etc and put that money in their own bank accounts, letting their people suffer while their own families are living lives of wealth in Paris, London and other European cities.
I was never taught to hate. I grew up with Lebanese in my house and they were treated the same way the queen of England would have treated if she came to my house.

People are so emotional on both sides that they can't think straight. Wheather it's a suicide bomber who kills people, or tanks and machine guns that kill people, it is still violence and it needs to stop if there is to be any hope of a more peaceful tomorrow.

You cannot compare between a suicide bomber who has the sole intention of murdering innocent people, man, women, children and babies, and a solider doing his job to DEFEND his country! No Israeli solider kills civilians with the intention to do so, but in a state of war, mistakes do happen and that is unfortunate. Israelis don’t go partying in the streets even when terrorist are killed. Palestinians DO. They also did it when 9/11 happened. For some reason they feel the need to celebrate when others die.
Any country in the world has the right to DEFEND itself if attacked, which is what Israel is doing since 1948. If the Arabs would have accepted the UN’s offer back in 1948 instead of attacking the Jews right away, Palestine would have been 58 years old today.

Summer 2006... How it all began

This is the tenth day of fighting between Israel and a terror organization which its goal to make Israel disappear from the face of the earth, along with its citizens. Why? Because we are Jewish. Lets not hide behind pretty politically correct terms, this is pure anti-Semitism that is not so far away from what Hitler did in world war 2. The goal is the same yet the circumstances are different ג€“ the state of Israel exists and Hezbollah is a terror organization (as much as Mr. Kofi Anan would like to ignore it in his speeches).
But let's go back in time, to May 24th, 2000 to be exact. Also known as the scariest night of my life. The day began with a call for the residents of Metulla and Kiryat Shmona to get into bomb shelters. I was an 11th grade student, during my finals period. I was also home alone that day because my sister was staying at a friend's house and my mom was in Australia. I decided to stay at home in order to take car of my dog and try to get as much studying done as possible. I know it sounds weird that we're staying at home while we're to be in bomb shelters, but that's reality on the Northern boarder of Israel. When you grow up in a town that every few month +- is ordered to be in bomb shelters you develop some type of apathy to it.
At any case, during the early evening hours the cannons started to shell and there were explosions all around. I was home alone and for the first time in my life I was scared. No one in Metulla had any idea what's going on. Barak never informed us that our army was leaving Lebanon that night.
The loud explosions continued all night and kept waking me up. I think I finally was able to fall asleep around 4am. I woke up in the morning into complete silence and shocking news ג€“ Tzahal left Lebanon.
And now, six years later here we are ג€“ fighting a war that was forced on us. What reason did Hezbollah has to attack us now? Their whole claim used to be that we were occupying southern Lebanon. Well not since the year 2000, so what is their excuse now?
A few months after the pull out 3 Israeli soldiers who were patrolling the boarder were attacked by Hezbollah terrorists and were kidnapped into Lebanon. They were also murdered by these low lives. Their fate was kept a secret by Hezbollah and their families had to go through horrible years if guessing whether their sons are alive or not. A few days later an Israeli citizen named Alhanan Tenenbaum (and retired general) was also kidnapped by them.
In 2004 the bodies of the 3 soldiers along with Alhanan Tenenbaum were brought back to Israel after a long negotiation. Hundreds of terrorists who were imprisoned in Israel were released. Hundreds of murderers got to be set free so that we can bury our sons in Israel, so that their families can have a proper place to mourn. This is how much Israel values its soldiers and citizens; we will not leave you behind and will do anything to bring you back.
During the past 6 year we have seen Hezbollah building posts and bunkers all around the northern boarders. I can look at the view from my bedroom window and see them. Cars with Hezbollah flags waving from them were driving back and forth.
This war is the consequence of the past 6 years where Hezbollah was able to arm itself without any interruptions, getting better missiles with longer range and being able to prepare themselves for this.
The consequence so far?
over 1700 missiles were shelled at Northern Israel hitting dosens of town since Wednesday
3 soldiers kidnapped
20 soldiers killed
15 civilans killed
over 900 civilians injured.
Israel did not choose this war, but was left no choice. It is a war for our existence and we will win it.
one of the scariest parts about war is the fear of hearing in the news that the names of the soldiers or civilians that were killed and realising it's someone you know...Today is that day.
May they rest in peace.
Yehi Zichram Baruch.


My home town, 2 days ago
http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3278570,00.html